:)

There is something infinately beautiful about the world.
Because despite the fact that I NEVER get a text back anymore,
and an old fat man told me I was "giving people the wrong idea" because I was wearing long socks, and my audition video for TDP was a load of crap because I'm that ever so slightly sick where you can still sing notes, just not very well, and I ate three and a half days worth of carbohydrates today, and I have a stack that reaches the underneath bit of my desk from the floor of assignments and homework and study that I have to do.
And despite that friday was possibly the worst friday in my memory, right now this smile on my face could not make me any happier.

I've never felt like this ever before, but I am so happy right now that I could cry. I am so lucky to be alive, I don't care if I fuck up my life, atleast I get a fairgo. Because, like the sticky note on my wall says "You CAN achieve your dreams :)" and I will.

I'm slowly starting to be less afraid of the world, and I don't care if I don't get everything I've ever wanted out of my life, because I have my family and my friends and everyone inbetween, and I love them more than I can even understand in my own head.

There's something so beautiful about smiling. It lights up a person's face in such a way that even if their teeth are rotting, and they look like they've never been washed, they are truely beautiful.

No one is ugly when they smile and are elated with happiness, the same way that no one is drop dead gorgeous when they frown. For some reason, there's this unsaid law of judgement that says that when someone is frowning in such a meaningful way, it's much more acceptable than a grining, shrieking with laughter, allegedly insane person.

What I'm trying to say is, to all those people who know how much they mean to me, or think they do, you are all actually unimaginably amazing. And when you smile, it just squares it by infinity so that you are so fucking fantastic that my jaw drops so heavily and quickly to the floor that it lands in china, and is thrown back by an angry taxi driver, in the time that it takes you to blink.

So, basically, even if things are about to turn to shit, I don't care, because I will always have the memories of you. Your amazing sayings that are said so well that I could write a never ending book about them, and I'd be laughing at them so hard every day that I'd actually die of some kind of face/stomache/voice hemorage. The fact that for some reason you think I'm the most amazing person ever, but secretly I feel exactly the same about you, and how you're the only person that has noticed the freckle on my lip :). Your aura of epicness, the way I feel like nothing can hurt me and no judgement will affect me if you're around. The way you are, I can't even elaborate because basically everything that happens or is said relates to some half-forgotten in-joke that you somehow remember at the PERFECT times. Your hugs and your amazing voice of superior beautifulness, the fact that we're dopplegangers is just the icing on our ice cream/ betty crocker cake :P. The way you do everything, the fact that you have *no idea* how much you mean to me, and how every little thing you do is huge for me, the way you nudge me reassuringly, and hold me, and look at me, and the way that I think I like you more, but in reality we probably break even, the way that my whole body is engulfed in goosebumps everytime I see you.